A Divided Friendship: Yael’s Decision to Join the Israeli Army and the Rift It Caused
A Divided Friendship: Yael’s Decision to Join the Israeli Army and the Rift It Caused
Blog Article
In a quiet café in Hamburg, Yael, an 18-year-old German-Israeli woman, and her father, Ilan, share their story of a friendship torn apart by the political tensions surrounding the ongoing conflict in the Middle East. Yael has made a significant decision—one that has not only shaped her future but also led to the painful end of a long-standing friendship. This is the story of how the conflict between Israel and Gaza has not only affected the region but also the lives of people far from the frontlines, in places like Hamburg, Germany.
Yael is a young woman with a unique perspective. Born in Germany to Israeli parents, she moved to Israel at 15 to attend a boarding school near Tel Aviv. It was there, just 45 kilometers from Gaza, that she experienced the reality of living in a conflict zone. In May 2021, during the heightened tensions of Ramadan, Hamas fired rockets at Israel, forcing Yael and her peers to rush into bunkers as sirens blared, signaling incoming attacks. For Yael, this was a formative experience—one that shaped her sense of duty and her decision to join the Israeli army.
"I want to give something back," Yael says of her decision. "I was protected for three years. Now, I want to protect others." In January, she will return to Israel, where she will begin basic training and Hebrew classes, preparing to join the Israeli Defense Forces. Though she is unsure of which unit she will be assigned to, she knows that the army will require her to face the difficult realities of war, including holding a weapon and potentially using it in defense of her country. Her father, Ilan, looks on with a mixture of pride and concern as Yael speaks.
However, while Yael’s decision to serve in the Israeli army reflects her desire to contribute to her country, it has come at a personal cost. Just three weeks ago, Yael’s best friend, with whom she had shared countless memories since the fifth grade, cut ties with her. The rift began when they discussed the ongoing violence in Gaza, including the tragic deaths of civilians in a hospital bombing. Yael’s friend, who had always been a close confidante, told her that if she joined the Israeli army, she would be participating in genocide. She could no longer maintain a friendship with someone who supported the actions of Israel.
"I asked her if she still wanted to have contact with me," Yael recalls. "But she said no. She said that it wouldn’t be consistent with her moral values." For Yael, this was a devastating blow. "I cried when we parted ways," she admits, the pain of losing her best friend still fresh. As they separated, her friend offered a simple, yet painful farewell: "I wish you a nice life."
For Ilan, this betrayal is a reflection of a broader societal issue in Germany. In his view, the rift between his daughter and her friend highlights the discomfort that many Germans feel toward Jews who stand up for themselves, particularly those who, like Yael, make the decision to join the Israeli army. "When push comes to shove, the society keeps Jews at arm’s length," Ilan observes. "Especially those who take a stand."
The emotional toll of the situation is also evident in the cancellation of a significant family event. Yael’s younger brother was supposed to celebrate his bar mitzvah, a milestone in Jewish tradition, surrounded by over a hundred guests. However, Ilan made the difficult decision to cancel the celebration. "I couldn’t stand the thought of celebrating and dancing while others were dying," he explains, his voice heavy with the weight of the ongoing conflict.
For Yael, the rift with her friend has been a harsh reminder of the complexities of identity, loyalty, and political beliefs. While she remains committed to her decision to serve in the Israeli army, she is forced to confront the reality that her choice has alienated her from someone she once considered a close companion. It is a painful experience, but one that underscores the deep divisions and emotional challenges that the conflict in the Middle East has caused, not only in Israel and Gaza but also in communities far beyond the region, like Hamburg.
As Yael prepares for her future in the Israeli army, the emotional weight of her decision continues to linger. The loss of a friend, the tension with society, and the uncertainty of what lies ahead are all part of the journey she is about to embark on. Yet, despite the personal sacrifices, she remains resolute in her desire to protect others, a mission she believes is worth the emotional cost.
https://www.spiegel.de/international/germany/jewish-life-in-germany-a-sudden-ominous-sense-of-insecurity-a-e21696e4-35f8-4c32-9300-f875885ef638